Tired.

Thats right folks. I'm tired. I don't know if it was from the heavy work out on Tuesday, or this morning's hill. But I feel like I need a nap. I tried to lay down and sleep a short while but I can't. I tried.

So here is my problem. I have Group tonight with the Marathon League. And I feel half asleep. I feel like not going. But I know thats not a good idea. I want to be there mentally, but physically can I just get a break?

On top of it all I feel like just crying. I don't know about you, but when I get over exhausted I feel like crying my eyes out. Don't know why or what causes this but it happens to me.

Perhaps it's because I'm so tired physically and I am sad my body can't go further? I am frustrated I got to this point. I am frustrated I let myself get to be 200 plus lbs.What is even more frustrating is that now I'm trying to do something about it and the task feels overwhelmingly difficult.

My mind can remember what it was like to be a teenager. Agile, flexible, and a young athlete. My mind wants to be "THERE" again. But my body is so far from it. It makes me sad, it makes me angry, and all those non productive feelings that produce nothing but negative emotions. Even though I realize these emotions are not conducive to feeling good about myself I can't help but feel them.

I just have to remember that I've accomplished a LOT since I decided to change my life. I need to focus on the things I've done so far and know that I can keep going. Like the fish Dora Says on "Finding Nemo"....."Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming swimming swimming.".

So thats what I'll do. Spoken from true wisdom of Dora the fish. I'll keep swimming today.