Ready

The last few days have been full of heavy thoughts and a heavy body. My back went out yesterday and put a halt to my heard work at training. After I weighed in at the end of the week I had gained a total of 4 more lbs. Totaling to 8lbs.  Some from the holidays, and then the other half from last weeks poor decisions. I've been thinking why I am so afraid of calorie reduction. It's not like I am going to starve to death. That simply won't happen. Do I fear the grumbling stomach?. Well if I eat right that shouldn't be too uncomfortable.

At first when I weighed in and saw the gain, I tried to excuse it away. Muscle mass weighs more then fat, yadda yadda yadda. I am sure you've heard it all before and probably done it yourself also.I used all sorts of excuses even carrying water weight from muscle soreness. But after a few days passed I realized I was fooling myself. I thought back to what I had devoured the week before. I had been extra hungry due to the heavy work outs and grabbed quick microwaveable things such as chicken nuggets, frozen burritos, and had mad casseroles that were not the healthy type. Not to mention the ice-cream drumsticks that were stocked by the box in the freezer. I probably ate half of them in total. I could go back and pick out everything I did wrong. And it would clearly point in the direction as to why I gained the weight. I simply ate a ton of calories.

Now that I am out of commission, I realize I needed to watch what I was putting in my face more carefully or else there were going to be huge (literally huge) consequences to pay.

I weighed in my options. I could go forward still fearing starvation due to calorie reduction, or I could move forward knowing I was taking care of my body. Also I would be making running easier on myself physically. As I should be loosing weight the further my training goes. The harder I work makes it rougher on my body. Not eating right and working so hard can be an unhealthy combination. It wasn't until just now that I realized this.

Fear of failure comes to heart at this point. Trying and failing again at changing my eating habits. But when it comes down to it, I don't have any options. This is my only choice. So I may as well face it and conquer it.


If counting calories is what I need to do then I'll do it. If making a chart for the fridge is what will make it easier I'll do it. I do know that this is not the end of the fight. Just being motivated and ready mentally doesn't make it easy or make it happen. I have to make it happen. It's my responsibility to take care of myself and feed my body energy to run correctly. Especially if I am training the way I am. It's even more important now.