Beginning to see the light

Last night we did that daunting hill 3 times!!!! I have to say I didn't think I could make it up the 3rd time I have to thank Alyshia for coming back and encouraging me on the last trip up. I walked most of the trips. I would run up to about the same spot and have to walk the rest of the way. I have to say I expected pain this morning. I expected calves to be in knots like usual and shin splints to be throbbing away. Instead I have some soreness, but I CAN walk.

So that can only mean ONE THING!. Either my legs fell off while I was running the hill OR I am getting stronger! I'll go for the later one of the 2. I am so excited that I am getting stronger. I actually can't wait to hit the Amador track again and time another lap. I hope this is the beginning to being able to recover faster so I can participate in group every time I go instead of laying back and waiting some stuff out.

I have to tell you that I am so excited that I even did the hill one time. Because my first time trying that hill, I started run up it then began to walk and quit at Mountain View. I never even saw the top. So seeing it 3 times for me was an amazing feeling.

It makes me want to go hiking with my husband, and snow shoeing like we used to. We used to be so active and we kinda stopped doing stuff like that because we felt it was "too hard" or "too much work", or more often then anything, "we were too busy". I am so looking forward to some of that stuff this winter. I will be able to keep up with him much easier this year.

So this is an accomplishment day. I am going to relish in it.

Defeat tastes bitter!

There was a challenge yesterday, and I was simply too exhausted to do it. But this morning I felt I could give it a shot. So I drove to the hill. Got out of my car, stretched and warmed up. As I was warming up I was thinking to myself, "What the hell am I doing here?"  I mean seriously my legs still haven't recovered from last Tuesday. Well I thought I would try anyways. I walked around the neighborhood for a while to warm up. Then I hit the hill.

I started of slow and sure. Taking my time. I got to the first corner, and I may as well have been running straight up the stairs. Perhaps I should have taken the outside of the corner and not the inside steepest part. My lungs began to burn, and again, the pain in my legs went away. What is that lack of oxygen? I hit the first cross road and kept on going. I started to get light headed and couldn't see straight. My legs continued to take me higher. When I hit Mountain View cross road I quit. It was that or pass out. I couldn't take it.

 I was defeated. 

It was then when I caught my breath that I realized my legs were shaking underneath me. It felt like an earthquake. My knees quivered and wanted to crumble under my weight.

And now I had to walk down the hill I had just run up. Great!

I walked down slowly, legs shaking and all. Thank God I remembered my knee brace. Down hills are difficult on my knees the one feels as if it wants to buckle under me on good days.

When I got back to my car I sat there for a moment. Gathering myself until I could see straight again.

I stopped at Safeway on my way home to grab some bananas and cottage cheese. I could barely walk into the store. How was I ever going to do training tonight with the All Amador Marathon League? I had to face it, I certainly wasn't going to run tonight. But maybe I could go just to walk.

I don't like how defeats feels. It feels permanent and daunting. It feels dark and dreary. It feels like failure. I'm done failing. This will be one of my goal hills. Literally. I will climb this hill one day!